The Fall

The carpet cleaners came to my home, so we cleared all the furniture out and I put the three little ones up in my master bedroom. (located above our garage) I put them in my bed and turned on a show.  They had been in my room about 10 minutes when I was about to vacuum the stairs; I heard Korv say, “Mom, Hudson fell out the window!”. 

Hudson had heard the cleaners outside and wanted to see what was going on.  He went over to the window and opened it up.  Our window is very large and close to the ground, it starts about a foot and a half off the ground.  He and Korv stood side by side (they are the best of buds) looking out the window.  Hudson pushed his forehead against the screen to try and lean out and look at the cleaning van.  He says he kept pushing more and more until the screen gave way and he came tumbling down over a small roof line onto the cement.  He remembers “flipping” over the little roof and falling.  (Later, he said it didn’t hurt, but it felt like a shot, just hurting a little)

Korver was on the side with the glass next to him, so he shows how he hung on to that and looked over the ledge to see Hudson down below.  Later I asked him if he felt any guilt, because I know children take things on they shouldn’t.  I asked him “Korv, do you think you did anything wrong?”  He said, “I think I did wrong cause I pushed him out the window.” I asked him why he thought that and he explained that when Hudson was falling out the window, Korv tried to grab him, but he couldn’t.  His hand made contact with his back and then Hudson continued to flip and fall.  He shows how Hudson’s neck was cranked forward and where he hit the rain gutter before going over the edge.  I could tell he didn’t like seeing how much his little neck was cranked down to his chest.  I told him, "Korv, that wasn’t your fault!  The screen gave way and he was already falling, you were only trying to help him!"  He got sooo excited and said, “mom, can I go tell Hudson that?”  He wanted Hudson to know that he didn’t push him out the window. 

He says he then ran to the bed and cried (he said it sounded like a cry when Hudson takes something from him), and I was all of a sudden just there.  He doesn’t ever say he came and told me.  I can picture how he would yell out with a crying voice, "Hudson" and be extremely concerned. 

I never heard him cry, I only heard an urgent, calm voice say, “Mom, Hudson fell out the window” 

 I ran up the stairs into my bedroom to see the window wide open, with the screen gone.  I hoped the little ledge had caught him, I looked out and saw my 6 year old little Hudson at least 14 feet down below crumpled on the cement drive way.  I am grateful that this image is a fog in my mind, I can’t see exactly how he was lying, which helps, because I have traumatic nightmares of him falling and I don’t see that image clearly.
When i ran to the window, I had a panicked helpless feeling, like I dropped him.  I felt like he slipped out of my hands. (It's the same panicked feeling that wakes me up at nights)  He was so close to me, and it happened so fast. There was nothing I could do to change it.

The carpet cleaner was going out to get some things, when he heard something give way (the screen) and watched little Hudson roll over the small roof line and fall to the ground.

I saw the carpet cleaner down below staring at him, in a panic I yelled something like “Why aren’t you helping him!!?”  Honestly I think he was in shock.  Then I flew down my stairs and out my door to him.  I remember flying down the stairs it felt like I was literally flying or floating.  I remember words coming out of my mouth; I think I just said “Hudson” in the most horrified way.  The cleaner was doing everything appropriate.  He said, " I just didn’t want to move him and I am calling 911”.  I scooped his little head and arms into my lap while I knelt on the driveway. (Knowing this was the wrong thing to do, but unable to stop myself from doing so)  I remember not knowing if I should call 911, and thinking that may not be necessary.  I am so grateful for people all along the way that didn’t listen to me in my shocked state and did what needed to be done.

I can’t picture in my head how he was laying, but I remember thinking his arms look folded weird and he looked somewhat crumpled, not sprawled out at all. Hudson had blood coming out of his nose, but that is the only place you could see blood. Another thing I was so grateful for, because he is such a sensitive guy, he hates seeing anyone get hurt.  He hates seeing blood on people, that is very disturbing for him.

Hudson was responsive from the moment I found him; a miracle in and of it’s self.  While scooping him into my arms I was saying, “Hudson, are you okay, are you okay?” I wish it was in a sweet tone, but it was more horrified, forceful and frantic.  “Oh Hudson, are you okay. How do you feel?”  He just moaned and didn’t move much.  I felt much emotion, even some anger.  I didn’t let the anger show but I was thinking, “Why did you DO that Hudson, WHY would you do that?”  He is so smart and cautious; it is out of his character to put himself in a situation to be able to fall out the window.

I asked him, “What is your name?”  He was able to softly say Hudson, “how old are you?” again he was able to respond, “6”.  This was comforting.  But he was whimpering and moaning, not wanting to move.

 The cleaner was on the line with 911 and giving them all the information, this was a huge relief to not have to worry about that, I could focus on letting Jackson know and family know.

I picked up the phone to call Jackson, I was in shock and unable to function very well, I couldn’t think of how to access phone numbers, or what Jackson was listed as under my contacts (Jacks) or how to make it work to call him. Through shaking hands and a befuddled brain I was able to dial him but he didn’t answer I knew he was in a meeting.  I then tried to call my mom, no answer, and then my sister Amy, no answer. I then slowly figured out how to text Jackson, “emergency”.  I then called him again, and he had removed himself so he could answer.

I was unable to speak very well but I got out that Hudson had fallen out of the window; I think that’s all I said.  Jackson got more information from overhearing the cleaner speaking to the dispatcher on 911. I tried to tell him, “let my parents and your parents know”.  

Jackson said he was leaving work, I was in such shock I thought, “umm, maybe you don’t need to do that, you can just wait and see how this is playing out.”

My neighbor’s little girl looked out the window and told her mom, “Hudson is bleeding and his mom is with him.” So she thought, okay well I am sure his mom is taking care of him and it wasn’t a big deal.  When she stood up to leave the room she got a glimpse of me holding him and immediately knew something was very wrong, she noticed the screen severely bent on the driveway, and hoped it wasn’t what she thought it was.

She came to me saying, “what happened?”  I let her know he fell out of the window.  She hugged me and She asked if she could go get my two little ones upstairs, and I told her I thought they were fine, and then I said, I guess you can go check on them if you want? (not thinking about the wide-open window with no screen that my 1 ½ year old could toddle over to along with my 4 year old, wanting to know what was going on)  In my head I thought, I can tell she wants to do something, so for her sake she can go check on them. 

I am so glad she didn’t listen to me; she ran upstairs, grabbed both children and took them to her home without telling me.  I heard Oaklie cry a little, which was good, because it made me glance over to see them going into her home and know they were taken care of.  

Later She told me through tears, “the only thing I can’t get out of my mind is the look on your face, I just wanted to hold you.  But, I thought I would be of more help getting your other children out.”
The perimedics went on to cut off his shirt, which worried him. "please don't let them cut my belly"  and he kept mentioning, "I am okay, I don't wan to go to the hospital!"  He aslo told me he didn't want to go to school that day, and he loves school.